week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
