my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
