i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
