I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
