I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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