so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
