I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
