theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
