you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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