He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My feet surprised me
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