he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
