How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
