operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
