Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
