i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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