I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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