I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
