so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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