Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just high enough for therapy.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize