It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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