Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
