just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
we made out on top of his cat.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
