WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
