I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize