idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
