I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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