Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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