Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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