Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
