I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
