I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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