is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wish I only lived at night.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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