he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You did what with his pubic hair?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
