Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
