Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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