Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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