Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
