Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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