Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize