Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
