So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
