apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
