i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
