I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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