I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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