mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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