my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
