Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I cut my penus on the lid.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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