bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
