My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
