she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize