I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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