You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
