Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize