okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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