the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
