I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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